Maybe Now I Get It

"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me."  Noel Coward

I'm not famous.  Never have been, never will be.  Quite happy that it never happened to tell you the truth because frankly I'd probably be an insufferable ass if I were.  I'd probably be one of those "Stars" who demand very specific things backstage or in my dressing room. 

"I want my '90 Bollinger La Grande Année served exactly 15 minutes after I arrive at precisely 47 degrees, DO NOT mess this up!!!"

Yeah, me and fame, probably not a good thing.

Another reason I know I wouldn't be a good celebrity would be the total annoyance they must experience when going on promo tours for their new book/movie/concert.  Being asked the same question over and over and over and over and over ad nausem would take me over the edge.

I've gotten to experience a mild version of this with the new tenant who took over the ground floor of my building.  I alluded to these happenings in my first post of 2013 New Hope.  So after months of renovation and activity they have opened to some fanfare (for a small town).  I hope they're successful.  The problem is they're nothing to me but a tenant.  I have no investment in their business nor really even a passing interest.  It's a simple arrangement.  They pay their rent and I don't think about them again for 30 more days.

The problem (back to it being a small town) is because I've owned the building for so many years and had two businesses operate there a lot of people know me.  So almost everywhere I go I get quizzed incessantly about what's going on with the new business.

"So what's she doing in there?'

"Can she make a business out of selling cookies?"

"What's she going to do with the patio?'

"Is she going to sell wine?"

"What are her hours?"

On and on and on.

It's one thing when you're promoting your own business (or book or movie) its another when you have no involvement.  So I keep trying to find a short, quick answer that doesn't come off as impolite but also closes the door on any follow up questions. 

This is what I accidentally hit on the other day.  A local acquaintance stopped me on the street and immediately started in with the "So, what's going on in the building?" quiz.  But then, as is their reputation, without pause launched into their own life and times and never came back to the question.  So now when asked I mumble some stock answer and immediately ask the person something about themselves - their business, family, whatever.  So far it's worked every time.

Ah, I love human nature.

Mistakes aren't fatal

"Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error."  Marcus Tullius Cicero

Mistakes Aren't Fatal.  That was the headline of an article I read the other day.  My first thought was tell that to one of The Flying Wallenda's.

We've all tried to subscribe to the "let's learn from our mistakes" philosophy.  And it's important we do because mistakes will happen and understanding what happened, why it happened and what could have prevented it is critical for moving forward.  There's a great story from my ADP days where one of the computer room operators kept putting good data packs on a defective drive thus destroying every one of them over the course of the night shift.  Uh, yeah.

It seems a trait of Human Nature that we always seem to be able to find the time to do things a second (or third) time but adverse to taking the time to do it right the first time.  However, there are situations and professions where that doesn't hold true.  Wallenda walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls, the first test flight of a new jet,  a stuntman falling off a 10 story building as examples only get one chance.  Forget having time for a second try.

With some exceptions making mistakes, like almost everything else, requires some balance.  When life and death isn't involved you must at some point in time weigh the cost of waiting versus the cost of jumping.  Tom Peters in his classic "In Search of Excellence" talks about "Try it, Fix it, Try it".  The point being that you can over-design, over-engineer, over-think things to the point you miss the market opportunity.  Plus you can't figure everything out in the lab.  At some point you need to put it out in front of the buying public and get real feedback.

Some of the best products I've been associated with over the years originated with some individual sitting at a job and thinking that a mundane task they have to continually repeat could be easier so they designed and built something that would do that.  It then got into the hands of a company that could properly market it plus give it a road map for expansion and improvement and it became a valued and valuable product.

So, do your research and due diligence, try to identify the "D-OH" mistakes, make sure no one's going to die in case of a mistake and step out onto the tightrope.

Sometimes you just have to

"If a man fools you once, he's a jerk.  If he fools you twice, you're a jerk."  Arturo

In a previous blog I confessed to being overly concerned about not being a jerk Pleasers Dilemma.  This has always been a doubled-edged sword for me.  It's made me a lot of personal and professional friends over the years but it's also caused me a lot of trouble and cost me a lot of money.

So the other day I'm in a meeting with some guys I've been trying to do some business with and it's more of the same, tired old diatribe.

"Well, we think it's a good idea but....

• "Can we do it for less investment than you're talking about?"
• "Can you do some more work (for free) so we can get more comfortable?"
• "We didn't really like everything about your Go To Market plan, can you rewrite it (again for the umpteenth time)?"
• "Does it really require dedicated technical staff?"

On and on and on.

So, I flipped open the shift knob of my internal DB5 where instead of an Eject button there's a Jerk button and pressed it.  I told them they're too incapable of owning a technology with as much  potential as theirs has.  That they're too slow-footed, dim-witted and mush-mouthed to play with the big boys and they should just stay in their comfortable little cubbyhole and not venture out where the wild things are.

And low and behold the whole atmosphere changed.  They sat up and engaged and in so many words said "what took you so long to slap us to attention?" Now they're all hot to trot.

Here's what funny.  Rather than being happy or excited or relieved I was pissed.  It brought back memories of high school and college where the really cute girls always wanted to date the bad boys not the nice guys.  In the same vein these guys didn't seem interested in logic, a well thought-out plan and honesty, they weren't tweaked until I treated them badly.

If I have to verbally slap them around to make progress do I really want to get involved?  The next session is set for next week.  Do I go back to normal and see how they react or do I keep the Jerk on?  Do I just go ahead and disengage here and now?

In the words of Hans Solo, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Small Big Things

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" Lao-tzu

I was reading an article about how making small changes in your diet and/or exercise and add up.  It stated that cutting out or burning just 100 extra calories a day — by replacing soda with water, say, or walking to the store — can lead to significant weight loss over time: a pound every 35 days, or more than 10 pounds a year.

That got me thinking about how this applies in areas other than weight.

For instance, networking.  If you added one new contact in LinkedIn each day you would have 365 new contacts in a year.  That's over a thousand after three years.  Who couldn't use a thousand more business contacts?

If you went to work 15 minutes early or stayed 15 minutes longer each day you could add 65 additional hours in a year.  How many calls is that if you are in sales?

If you along with your family turn off the tv and shut down the laptop/tablet/smart phone and cook one meal together once a week you'll not only add a couple of hours of family together time but may start a tradition that carries on to your kids and theirs.

There's an old book, The Richest Man in Babylon.  The essence of how he became wealthy is that he kept 10% of everything he earned for himself.  Without exception.  If he found a dime he kept a penny.  A penny or a dime or a dollar by itself doesn't have a lot of value but like the other examples when combined with discipline and time it adds up.

So, I'm going to start paying more attention to the smaller things and see if....wait, there's a dime.

Say, Do and repeat

A first for my blog.  I'm republishing an old post.  I've been getting really,  really bugged recently because I feel I'm surrounded by people who promise, promise, promise but never deliver.  It's one thing when you kind of force people to give you a commitment but these guys repeated volunteer delivery details then are not heard of again until I chase them down.  As I was thinking about drafting this I went "hey, I've written about this before".  So, here it is....again.

Say Do

Bumblebees

"If you think you can, you can.  If you think you can't, you're right".  Mary Kay Ash

I had the pleasure of meeting Denise Brennan-Nelson - See Brennan Nelson.  She's a local author of children's books and with six grandkids I'm always on the lookout for good ones.  My oldest daughter once sent me this link - Terrible Childrens Books   - and ever since I've been sensitive to the subject.

One of the books Denise highlighted was Buzzy the Bubblebee.  By the way, it was illustrated by Mike Monroe - See Monroe - a local artist renowned for his wildlife art.

 

Anyway the story is about a bumblebee named Buzzy who reads in the book, Learn to Fly, the very true fact that, "Bumblebees weren't made to fly."

 

Stranded on top of a flower/ Buzzy longed to fly away.
His heart still knew how/ But his head had forgotten the way.

 

So being a long way from home he believes he can no longer fly and thus embarks on a journey to get home.  The adventure that ensues challenges Buzzy to overcome obstacles without his wings that he had never before thought possible. He travels over the stream and through the high grass to get back home to his parents.

 

Once home his mother give him this advice:

"You're doubting yourself./ Fear is in the way.
Listen to your heart Buzzy/ Not what others say.
Ignore labels and limits Buzzy./ They seldom do good.
You start to think, 'I Can't,'/ when you should be thinking, 'I Could.'"

 

And of course he goes on to fly again.

 

One of the insights Denise gave, since this was her first book, was the process of getting published.  Rejection after rejection came and several times she was ready to throw it in and give up.  The problem was that the book was about not listening to others and not giving up.  So she was somewhat forced to keep going.  And, obviously, it paid off with a publishing agreement with Sleeping Bear Press.  Denise has gone on to publish thirteen additional books.

 

Children's book or not the lesson is a good one.  It seems so much of professional life is taken up with dealing with skepicism, doubt (and doubters), rejection, criticism, naysayers, historians (it's never been done like that here) and revisionists.

 

You start to think, 'I Can't,'/ when you should be thinking, 'I Could.'"

Jellybeans

Groupon's CEO Andrew Mason was just fired and to his credit he sent an open and endearing message out about it Mason. 

When Leaf, Barley & Vine was open I tried a Groupon program once.  Hated it.  No, let me be clear, HATED IT.  As you can see from the picture my General Manager didn't care for it much either.

What you can see in the picture is the stack of Groupon's that were cashed in...on the last night they were valid.  That's six months after they were bought.  They equal about 40% of all that were bought.  We got crushed.  It was a Wednesday night which is normally moderate and we got killed.  First time customers who came because of the Groupon probably never came back our service was so bad.  Loyal customers just left and went elsewhere.  Some came back another night.

We knew the number of outstanding vouchers and staffed up an additional person but it wasn't enough.  If I would have called in every on-staff person it wouldn't have been enough.

That incident, however, is not why I hate the program.  I hate the program because it's bad business.  Great for the customer (except when they wait till the last night and get lousy service) and great for Groupon, but not for the business owner.

Reasons why:

One.  Not profitable.  The way the program works is you offer a service or package at a highly discounted price.  Ours was $30 of appetizers and drinks for $15.  The $15 was split between LBV and Groupon, so we made no profit on each one.  The rationale for doing it it to bring in new customers who either don't know about you or wouldn't normally come in.  And oh, by the way, most voucher carrying customers tip on the discounted amount not the value amount.  If you're one of those.  Stop it.

Two.  One-sided.  People go out and buy programs from Groupon.  In our case about 500 people bought vouchers that were good for six months.  So it generated $7,500.  Groupon kept  half and we got half.  But not all at once.  Groupon pays it out in thirds over two months.  So they get all theirs up front and the float on yours for several weeks.

Three.  Jellybeans.  A long time ago as a young manager I proposed an incentive program for my employees that essentially paid them small bonuses in either cash or gifts for "doing good things".  When I proposed the idea to my manager he said, "jellybeans".  "Jellybeans?" I asked.  "Yep, jellybeans".  He went on to explain that programs like the one I was proposing was essentially a jellybean program in that if you always give your kids a jellybean to get them to do something - a chore or whatever - then all you're doing to teaching them to expect something any time they do anything.  Over time they won't do anything unless there's a jellybean waiting.  Groupon is a jellybean program.  What we've learned is there's a large group of people that will only go out if they have a discount voucher in their hand.  So you don't end up amassing a new set of customers because they go on the the next jellybean being offered.

Thus I'm not surprised that Groupon is not making their numbers, have a low stock price and fired their CEO.  Too many of us tried it and said never again and then when asked by other business owners if they should try it gave them a resounding NO.  Any time I'm asked if I ever tried Groupon or something similar I always answer "twice". (It's my line when asked if I've ever run a marathon.  "Twice", I say, "1996 Detroit Marathon, my first and my last".  Discount programs are a fad that's run their course and Groupon is on the down side of the fad.

Discounting is fine if you're a discount store and that's your business model but it's a horrible way to do business otherwise.  Build your brand, deliver good service, demand quality, offer something unique and leave the jellybeans in the jar.