The Pleaser's Dilemma

"There just isn't any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying" Robert Mitchum

I was having drinks with an acquaintance who has become a friend. It was one of those discovery sessions where, through mutual war stories, we got to know a lot more about the other. Must be what women experience but without the f-bombs and leering at the barmaids.

One of the common elements we discovered I call the Pleasers Dilemma. This is where you end up making bad decisions because you want people to like you. This, as you might suspect, works great when the other person shares the same trait. Not so much with people who are devious, sinister, self-absorbed, dumb, naïve or pure evil; in other words, most of the world.

From a business standpoint we have both been morally and financially screwed over multiple times by not being demanding enough. We both tend to error on playing on the other person’s side of the half-way line way too much and way too often.

The more we traded war stories the more upset we got at how bloody often we’d gotten the short end of the stick by being this way and used the experience as a vehicle to self-admonish and promise to stop being so over-giving and start eliminating these clients from our lives.

So, I immediately went out and did an agreement that I instantly regretted and will regret for every minute I’m obligated to it strictly by being too accommodating..

Damn!

Damn, Damn!!

If you too suffer from this affliction take solace from the fact that there are more of us out there. Maybe we can start some support group or something. “Hi, my name is Greg and I give in too easily”. “Hi, Greg!”

I’m really trying to cure myself without flipping all the way over to becoming an unbending, unreasonable butt-head, but the moderation thing doesn’t seem to be working very well for me. Out of self-preservation I may need to get comfortable with the dark side.

If you’ve been able to find this balance let me know how you did it. If you’re still struggling with it let me know the things you’ve tried and why they didn’t work. If you’re a recipient of my charity, well, a simple thanks will do.

Automate This!

“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.” – Dick Cavett

“Hello, you have reached our automated call attendant. Para la prensa 2 del español. Pour la presse 3 de Français. 為中國人新聞4. Για τον ελληνικό Τύπο 5. На русское давление 6. Para a imprensa 7 do português. Für deutsche Presse 8. Per la pressa italiana 9.

For English please stay on the line and one of our representatives from IndiIriPakiUkraniStan will help you.”

*sigh*

All I wanted was a Big Mac and a Coke.

So, it hasn’t gotten this bad – yet – but I’m convinced it’s coming quickly. And no, I’m really not against globalization. Just the opposite, by virtue of having circled the globe a few times I’m probably more ahead of the “We Are the World” curve than most of you.

What I’m against is lousy customer service. I’m against paying for service and not getting it. I have kids who are stuck in the “me generation” but I don’t want to deal with companies who are. I’ll pay more for service if I get it but I’m quickly waltzing away from companies who are more interested in paying less for each customer service call than they are for providing actual service. That’s what I’m against.

What I’m for is better business intelligence.

Profile away if it will help me get through the Airport, ATM, or any other line quicker, If you can profile when I call that I’m a dumb Hoosier who can barely speak English much less anything tricky like French and you route my call to someone in Terre Haute I’m a happy guy. If when I plug my card into the ATM it immediately asks me in English “Do you want your normal amount? I’m a happy guy. If I can walk into an airport, show them my finger, eye, tattoo, whatever and be sent on to the gate, I’m a happy guy.

You see, I’m a boring guy. I have nothing interesting going on so go ahead and watch me, listen in to my phone calls, track my internet, whatever but bring plenty of strong coffee ‘cause you’re going to be B-O-R-E-D out of your G-O-U-R-D.

Look, I get it. I really do. You have to make a profit along the way. I’m with you on that boat. But figure out if you’re cheaping your way into trouble by chasing your clients away.

I’ll leave you with a little thing that my good friend and former globetrotting buddy Tyler Allman sent me once upon a time. Anyone who’s traveled to foreign soil – Europe, Asia Pacific, South America, Florida or California – has probably had something like this happen.

A Call to Room Service
Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.
Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.
RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?
HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?
HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos. July Santos?
HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.
RS: No. Judo one toes?
HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means. I'm sorry.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we bother?
HG: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.
RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but...
RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Okay. Tendjewberrymud.
HG: You're welcome

How Dumb Are These Guys? - Part II

“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege” Unknown

Living in Michigan I have watched with mixed degrees of smirkish humor and queasy-stomach horror the recent soap opera that has produced GM (Government Motors) and Chrysler now being owned by that epitome of car quality Fiat (Fix It Again Tony).

I hear on the news that some sections of the country are beginning to show signs of recovery, but not here where we’re working under the FILO system.

But undaunted I trekked up into Northern Michigan with 39 other guys last weekend for an annual golf outing – well, annual for most of them, it was my first time with this group. It was a great time and a great bunch of guys, most of whom are native Michiganders. And yes, that’s the real term. And no, being a native Hoosier I can’t make fun of any other state moniker.

If you’re a golfer you really must put a Northern Michigan trip on your list. Absolutely some of the greatest courses you’ll ever play and lots of them. And since the season is only about 3 weeks long they’re always in great condition.

So, we’re having this great weekend with our 10 foursomes of pretty typical golf guys, that is, bad golf (but lots of it), unhealthy food (but lots of it), bad jokes (but lots of them) and drinking (but….hey, wait a minute). The drinking was way down. We didn’t have to call the Emergency Mobile AA Unit even once. What’s the deal?

Well the deal was the courses had a skeleton crew of beverage carts out. For those who don’t play golf, courses will put these golf carts out equipped with ice, beer, sodas, booze, food, et al. They have one purpose, to sell golfers more stuff, all of it with high margins. You know, a fifty cent can of beer for $4, kinda like the airlines. The one course had ONE cart covering two 18-hole courses.

The other unique thing about Northern Michigan golf courses is they’re cut out of wilderness so you don’t come by the clubhouse after the front nine. The one course had you drive your cart about a half-mile to start and then was over a mile back in when you finished number eighteen.

When I asked one of the workers about it the answer was “we’re cutting back because business is off”. Let’s see, you’re cutting back on the highest margin part of your business. You already own the beverage carts, you staff them with high school/collage age girls who work mainly for tips. I don’t get it. It’s not like we were the only people out there, there were other groups.

I don’t know but I think I would have had twice as many beverage carts as normal. The worse you play the more you drink and the worse you play and....well, you get the picture.

So I continue to marvel at some of the business decisions being made during this “crisis”. And I still stand on this not coming close to how bad it was during the Jimmy years in the Eighties, but that’s a different debate.

So, as is my policy I’ll ask you. What are you doing? Are you chasing away your existing higher profit business? Are you cutting across the board regardless of it’s impact? Are you analyzing your business or closing your eyes and hoping the putt goes in?

By the way, read "How Dumb Are These Guys? - Part I Here. And don't forget to link to the worlds best airline complaint at the end.

Flatties don't come back

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.” George Carlin

Back when I was new to the business world, when research meant going to the library and all information came from reading the newspaper and watching the evening news (one hour only) the Wall Street Journal ran a series of one-page, thought-provoking pieces. Today they would be a blog but this was a couple of decades before Mr. Gore invented the internet.

One that has always stuck with me was titled “We flatties don’t come back”. Flatties is a term used by carnival people (county fair type not cruise line type, though it might apply) to describe their customers. The life of a carny is short-term in every sense and their only goal is to survive this town to go to the next one. They have no interest in “getting to know their customer”. What they want is to extract as much as they can as quick as they can and get on to the next person, place or thing.

The gist of the article was that companies that treat their customers like carnival flatties will one day find themselves without any customers to worry about.

I promised in a recent post to never again complain about the airline industry. So I have this story about a company in the transportation business whose name implies either a variance between two numbers or a swampy region between two rivers in the South.

I used to frequent this transportation company and they once gave me a number in which to keep track of how much I transported myself with them. Let’s call them T1. Now they have bought another transportation company that I have also frequented and thus also have a number. Let’s call them T2.

So T1 wants me to merge my information from T2 into their system. Easy enough except to do so requires a personal identification number. The last time I used T1 for transportation was before personal identification numbers existed. So, since I’ve never had one I have been locked out of their system. No service representative has been able to help, no email has been answered and when I asked for the number of the group that handles these things I was actually told, “You can’t call them. I can’t even call them. We can only communicate with them via email”.

“Can I get their email address?”

“No”

NO ONE GETS IN TO SEE THE WIZARD, NOT NO ONE, NOT NO HOW!!!!

Talk about feeling like a flattie?

So?

How are you doing with your customers? Are they a treasure or a ball and chain? Are they an ally or an enemy? Are they a flattie?

In a time when getting new customers is, as my mother would say, “like pulling hens teeth” the last thing you can afford to do is lose good customers.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

“The key to being a good manager is keeping those who hate me away from those that are still undecided” Casey Stengel

I had lunch today with a buddy and the topic of managers came up. We both whacked around some of the more spectacular fools we’d gotten to work for over the years but decided that it may be much worse today than in our younger years. Now, that could be because time eases pain and memory. I think it’s also that younger people are more pliable and don’t bruise as easily. But I also think that managers on the whole are not as good as they used to be.

And, I’ll tell you why.

We don’t have apprentices anymore.

It used to be that you’d start a new job and you’d be assigned to someone (a senior, supervisor, etc.) who knew the job and would take you by the hand and teach you the job. Then as positions opened by expansion or void (sometimes….sometimes….wait on it….by retirement) supervisors would become managers, seniors would become supervisors and you’d become a senior. Thus, you worked for people that actually knew what you did because they had themselves done it.

To be fair, that didn’t make them good managers, but it did make them good trainers. And once they got trained at being good managers it got passed along.

Today that entire system is out the window (and has been for a long time in the tech field) as people hop madly around for the next upward step in position and salary. So what we’re left with are administrative placeholders looking for their next hop. They’re new to the company as is their VP and probably CEO all wanting to quickly make their mark so they can swim on to the next island.

What has all this caused?

I was sent this link the other day – Glassdoor – on the 50 lowest rated companies when it comes to employee satisfaction. This comes on top of an Art Petty blog on Evil Leadership and another of my favorite bloggers – Michael Hopkins – and his Customer Service experience from his Lead on Purpose site.

Wow, a new record. Four links in a sinlge paragraph. This should keep you busy enough that I don't need to finish the post.

But, I will anyway.

I guess it should bother me that I have worked for three companies on the Glassdoor list, but it really doesn’t mainly because it gave me so much material for this site. What does bother me is I’ve worked for companies that would have easily made this list had they been big enough to be noticed.

Big or small they each suffered from the same basic deficiencies in management, leadership and regard for their customers. It does, and has always, come from the top.

If you’re in a position of power take the time and steps to make sure your people know who they work for and what they do. If you can’t do it then assign them to a “master tradesman” who can.
Let’s get back to knowing what we do, why we do it, and who we do it for.

(And yes, Mrs. Gilbert, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition).

Tough Talk for Tough Times

“I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man” Ned Pepper

Living in Michigan I’ve had a front row seat for the demise of the economy and the crushing effect it has on people. Lots of jobs lost and no new ones to be found. What gets lost in the statistics are those situations like one of my friends found himself in this week where his salary was cut by 20% and his car allowance eliminated. Also lost is the mental grind of worrying about losing your job either through downsizing or your company going under. My son-in-law (and thus the rest of the family) finds himself in that situation as his company hovers constantly on the edge. The third category of unreported trauma is highlighted by another old friend who found a new job but only after many, many months of looking and at a salary well below normal.

It was really interesting to digest the conversations I had with these three people.

My friend who has taken a salary reduction remains optimistic and committed to his company and is willing to adjust his lifestyle to deal with what he hopes is a short-term situation.

My son-in-law also remains optimistic but has already used his small, but obviously good, network to find three, yes three, safety nets for new jobs. None of them are perfect; one would require relocation, one mega travel and the third a reduction of income, but nevertheless.

The other old friend who just started the new job spent the entire conversation grousing about how long his commute to work was and how low the salary is although it has good upside with commissions and once trained the ability to work several days a month from home. He expressed no relief to finally getting a job, no excitement for learning a new product and no optimism for performing well and earning commissions.

It caused me to go back to one of early posts Ten Simple Rules. My reduced salary friend seems to be following many of them although I wish he would spend some of his time networking and searching out some safety nets. My son-in-low I’m very proud of as he’s neither bailing out nor standing pat.

The third, however, is very disturbing. Not only will his negativity work against him being successful in this job but it will hurt him going forward. A lot of people, me included, helped him during his dry spell by firing up our networks and promoting him to others. This particular job was secured through the efforts of one of his friends who has a really strong friendship with the hiring manager. In talking with his sponsor (who’s a mutual friend) he has also been subjected to the negativity and is pretty steamed about it.

I’m adding another Bonus Rule to the Ten Simple Rules. Never piss off your network!

Blogging vs. Life

Never rise to speak until you have something to say, and when you have said it, cease." John Witherspoon

I got a call from an old friend wanting to talk to me about blogging. He’s getting ready to launch a blog through his business site and incorrectly assumed that since I publish a blog that I know something about the subject.

However, I didn’t tell him otherwise and, per usual, starting making things up as we spoke. This is great fun and I get great joy out of occasionally having someone later on say to me “Hey, remember that great advice you gave me several months ago, well I followed it and it worked out great”.

“Really?” “Wow!” Maybe I should pay more attention to what I’m saying, huh?

Anyway, I passed on to him what others passed on to me about creating a blog. Essentially:

Speak about things of which you have knowledge

Concentrate on topics that interest you.

Don’t start it if you’re not committed to continuing it.

Make sure you have enough material in the bank for when the Idea ATM runs dry.

If you’re only purpose is self-promotion, no one will probably pay attention.

Hmmm…now that I think about it that’s a pretty good list to follow for just about anything. Life, work, love, hobbies, et al. Probably if we all followed that little blog roadmap we’d all be better off.

I’ve already written about one of my favorite “corporate” blogs. Catch. Here’s another. Art Petty. Art is a self-admitted blog fanatic and cranks one out on a daily basis. They’re good, topical, focused and he’s certainly committed. Anyone in a management position (or striving to be) should put this one in your favorites.