UCOA

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."  Isaac Asimov

Maybe I'm just in a perpetually bad mood but there seems to be an epidemic of people totally unknown to me offering up Unsolicited Comments ,Opinions or Advice (UCOA's).

I've said before that I do not have many pet peeves, but the ones I do have I possess severe feeling about.  UCOA's are on that short list.

I'm sure I'm guilty of having been on the giving side of an UCOA.  But usually it's with someone I know.  Just as annoying, no doubt, but it's hard to not offer up UCOA's to a family member or close friend.  I really don't recall doing it to a total stranger without at least offering up a preamble of "excuse me, but do you mind if I offer up a suggestion", or something like that.  Caveat: This obviously doesn't count if you see someone in a dangerous situation.

An example of what I'm talking about.  Yesterday I'm at the deli counter at the grocery ordering a pound of cheese and a pound of turkey.  While the cheese is being sliced the guy to the right of me says, "you need to have him put paper between the slices or they'll stick together."  I ignore him.  As the turkey is being sliced the woman to the left of me says, "you should have him slice it thicker, those are too thin".  I ignore her.  I get my stuff and leave without acknowledging either of them but my tongue is bleeding a bit.

The best example of UCOA's is when I'm playing Blackjack.  I don't play a lot but know the basic strategies and I tend to be pretty conservative.  So I love the people - almost always guys, by the way - who love to offer up UCOA as to when to split or double or increase my bet, etc.  The most annoying part of this is they tend to do it the most after they've lost their entire stack and are just hanging around the table killing time.  So I'm going to take counsel from a guy who's lost all his money?? Now that I think about it, it's not all that different from most financial advisers.

So, what the proper etiquette in the workplace.  When is UCOA necessary vs. purposeful vs. annoying.

Well, like normal life spotting a dangerous business situation demands UCOA regardless of rank or feelings.  It doesn't have to be in the form of screaming or throwing yourself across the board table but it's a Must Do.  Watching all the goings-on at General Motors makes me wonder where the UCOA's were when the ignition switch problem was first spotted.  Did people call the problem out but were ignored?  Did it reach a certain level then just turn to steam?  That's a whole other topic about what to do when you've spotted and reported a danger but its ignored.

Otherwise you should ask yourself the question as to whether you're inserting your UCOA because you're really protecting the project/deal/plan/customer or if you just can't stand something without your smudge mark on it.  I wrote about this once upon a time. Wait, we can make this harder  There's an old sales adage that says "Don't answer questions that haven't been asked".  Same applies here.

So whether out in the real world or inside the quasi-mythical world of business before offering up comments, opinions or advice ask yourself the question.  Does anyone care but me?

Here's to Hinnyhockers

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”  Earnest Hemingway 

I've recently been introduced to the term "Hinnyhocker".  A Hinnyhocker is a term created by Dr. Mike.  Dr. Mike is a retired dentist and All-Star host in the Upper Peninsula (U.P.) of Michigan.  Or as commonly referred to, he's a Yooper.

By the way, the Upper and Lower Peninsulas of Michigan are separated by the Mackinac Bridge, a five-mile expanse and longest suspension bridge in the Western hemisphere.  Yooper's call people in the lower peninsula "Trolls" (those people who live under the bridge).

A Hinnyhocker is a term used when making an adult beverage for someone.  If you ask someone what they would like and they say, "oh, whatever you're having" or "I dunno, anything is ok" or "surprise me" or any other ambiguous request it becomes a Hinnyhocker.  Really saves on words. 

"What would you like?", "A Hinnyhocker:

See, simple and it allows the host to be creative.

So, how to incorporate Hinnyhocker into the work place?

If you're working with smart, creative, dutiful people it should be easy. 

"How should be promote the new product line?".  "Give me a Hinnyhocker."

"What about the sales presentation for the new release?".  "A Hinnyhocker."

It could be fun to give people the creative freedom of a Hinnyhocker.

Of course, it could be disastrous also.  A Hinnyhocker in the wrong hands would be terrible.  A gin and tonic that's 95% tonic (or vice versa).  A rum and coke with flat coke. 

Hinnyhocker's (drink or workplace) only work when the creator is good at their craft, concerned about their guest/audience/customer and up for a challenge.

So, here's to Hinnyhocker's - with moderation.