Please, ban me

 
"I wrote a letter to the Catholic Church, who had banned the song 'Only the Good Die Young' and asked them to please ban my next record"  Billy Joel

I was having lunch with a buddy and he asked me if I thought the president was in cahoots with the gun industry.

"Sorry?"

"Do you think Obama is working with the firearms industry.  You know, to help them out?"

"Dude, he's trying to outlaw people owning firearms.  Hardly seems like he would be on their Christmas card list".

"Yeah, but they're selling guns at a historic rate.  You can't find ammo.  The prices are skyrocketing.  It's kinda like what Y2K was to the tech industry."

"So, let me get this right." I said.  "The president puts the scare in people that guns will be outlawed.  People panic and buy everything they can get their hands on.  The firearms industry has a windfall.  Some of that makes it way into some 'charity' the president favors.  Then nothing really changes when new laws never make it through Congress and both sides make out like bandits.  Is that what you're saying?"

Pause

I hate that "Are you that stupid?" look I get sometimes.

Hmmmm

Then my buddy, who's in the automotive paint business says "yeah, if I could just get them to ban paint I'd make a killing."

Hmmmmmmmmm

So, the key is to get into a business that the Federal Government decides to ban.  People buy whatever it is at alarming rates.  You rake in tons of cash and go find the next industry in the cross hairs of the Government.

As I've said before. Talent  Why don't they teach this stuff in school?

The Art of Dawdling

"Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder." Mason Cooley
 

So, I have all this interesting stuff happening.  “Fodder for future blogs” I called it.  And, it’s SLOOOOWLY dragging on.  And what, I’m surprised?  Well yes….and no.   OK, actually no.  But I am surprised and irritated about it.  Irritated because after all these years as an XOD the last thing I should be is surprised.  Because the axiom that I embraced (and maybe co-created) is this:  “Nothing ever gets accomplished on time and on budget”.  Never!

The only projects that get done on time are those that have extraordinary amounts of flex (spelled M-O-N-E-Y) built in.  The only ones that get done on budget involve either those companies that are out of business just after (or just before) the project is completed or it’s a budget funded by taxpayers.

So I’m dawdling.

daw·dle (dôd l)
v. daw·dled, daw·dling, daw·dles
v.intr.

1. To take more time than necessary: dawdled through breakfast.

2. To move aimlessly or lackadaisically: dawdling on the way to work

I’m just killing time trying to come up with something that appears worthwhile while I wait on the real material.  Let’s call it Productive Dawdling.

Then it occurred to me.  Productive Dawdling is a powerful tool.  You see, we all run into situations in corporate life where you sometimes need to wait out the crap. (Important safety tip, this does not apply to self-employment/small business ownership).   Crap can be defined as anything from impending change in management to some AHDD manager who can’t stay on task for more than 5 minutes (aka, chasing shiny objects).  See Dancin' with Joe

Sometimes you just need to work on things that serve a purpose but don’t get in way of work that’s going to be squashed by some corporate initiative/mandate/bozo.

Productive Dawdling.

Be careful though, don’t make it a career.  It’s an easy trap to fall into since in larger organizations you can successfully hide for years under this cloak.  But it can become a trap.

Use it for good, not evil.

There.  See?  If you distract them with Productive Dawdling they forget that you actually ended up not doing anything. 

Wait.  Damn!!  Did I say tha out loud????

A New Hope

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to reform."  Mark Twain

2013 has opened with a bang.  So much to talk about but things are happening at a rate that makes it tough to grab a topic.  The teaser is that I've closed down the wine bar, have a buyer for the building who wants a new tenant in ASAFP.  So, this turn of events is going to not only give me great fodder for future blogs but also let me re-address some old blogs done under the "LBV Chronicles" banner.

But as I said, it's moving too fast right now.  So I'm going do what any savvy, crusty, sneaky Product Manager would do.  Cheat.

Here is a great new post from one of my favorite blogger - The Cranky Product Manager. Ten Things

Be back with one of my own soon.