That's a wrap

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I’m going to put a wrap on this year’s blog posts. I have a lot I want to say but to be frank with you I’m worn out. I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks recharging and renewing. I’ve broken most of my own rules about networking, friendship and family and I’m going to spend some time renewing those.

I’m also going to start drafting what I’m calling the LBV Chronicles. As I’ve mentioned I’ve started a new business and I’m going to tie many of the posts from the last couple of years into my experiences of getting this venture out of the nest.

I figure the chronicles will take anywhere from six to ten episodes to do properly and I want to draft them all out so there’s no big gaps. That plays into another promise to myself to not be so sporadic with my posting next year.

They should be interesting. They have advice followed and advice ignored, sensibility and senselessness, hope and despair. There’s no sex (unfortunately) and no bloodshed (yet) but there’s passion and intrigue.

So until January have a safe and happy Christmas and Holiday Season. Be good to your family and your friends and most of all be good to yourself.

Greg

Goodbye Neil Young

“It’s better to burn out than it is to rust” Neil Young

What a year! Learning to live without Bonnie, another grandchild, starting a new business, it seems like enough to last a decade not a year.

Winter and the end of the calendar year is a time of reflection. What I’ve been thinking about on my morning runs while plugged into my iPod is what music did I listen to during this tumultuous time?

Last winter while sitting on an empty building and an empty soul I was listening to a lot of Neil Young. I’m sure most of you know Neil either through his early Buffalo Springfield, CSNY, and Crazy Horse years or since then as a solo performer.

Neil was a good listen for me. For those who don’t know his music let’s just say he can take a normally happy-go-lucky person and make them clinically depressed. Or he can take a clinically depressed person and make them suicidal – enter Kurt Cobain.

As I was lying under the porch licking my wounds Neil would wallow down there with me. His “Homegrown”, “Rust Never Sleeps” and “Sleeps with Angels” albums were perfect companions for that long, cold winter and provided ample reason to shake that third martini.

Come spring it was time to make the “get busy living or get busy dying” decision and decide whether or not to go forward with the wine bar idea, get my fat ass back into shape and reunite myself with the person that looked back at me in the mirror each morning.

As I committed to each of these I found Neil to be a burden. For one thing he was hard to run with. I’m not very swift to begin with, the last thing I needed was to lug around heavy metal melancholy. I found the Eagles, a mix of 60’s tunes, and Jimmy Buffett much better company.

As the bar materialized, my running and diet parlayed into some significant weight loss and my outlook on life improved my distance from Neil increased until I realized that until I sat down to write this entry that I hadn’t thought of him, much less listened to him, in several months.

It’s kind of the same thing in the business world. You align yourself with people that are necessary depending on time and circumstance. Sometimes they become partners and allies that last over several careers. Sometimes they are only a part of your circle for a project or an assignment. Sometimes you wake up and realize that they, like Neil, have too much baggage and they’re slowing you down. Tough calls to make sometimes and it doesn’t mean they didn’t play an important role at the time.

Just like Neil did for me last winter.

Not Fair

“Life is not fair, get used to it” Bill Gates

I’ve taken a little sabbatical from blogging and I thank the many fans who have pinged me wondering if I was ok (well, if two constitutes many).

I’ve been in the process of starting a new business, which I will fill you in on when I get a chance to properly construct a blog about it. It may have to be in multiple parts so I’ll use this as a tease.

This new venture has involved banks, architects, designers, contractors, partners, vendors, distributors, family and friends. That is, all the elements that makes people crazy.

Over the course of the last three months I’ve heard the term “fair” many times. Used in context it sounds like this; “The bazillion dollars I quoted you to paint that wall is a fair price”. Or, “it’s not fair that you’re buying so much of your inventory from Vendor X instead of me”. Or, “The appraisal on your building in this economy is a fair one”.

What I’ve observed is what someone considers to be fair means that it’s fair to them and not necessarily to anyone else. In fact I can’t think of a single instance during this science experiment of mine where that observation hasn’t been true. So it got me watching life and times outside of my sphere to see if it’s more global.

Let’s see.

“It’s not fair!” - Bank of America executives on forced pay cuts”

“It's not fair,” - man who was arrested for publishing a Do It Yourself terrorism book.

“It’s not fair” – man indicted of embezzling his clients money after a judge froze his assets.

“It’s not fair” – ex-mayor of Detroit Kwame Kilpatrick when ordered to pay the fines levied against him from his felony conviction.

Yep, seems to be universal.

I’m not sure as a society that we’re any less fair minded than in times past. There has always been the “if it’s fair to me then its fair” mentality. I think it’s hugely human nature but it sure does make doing business more difficult. And it’s a bit discomfiting because in order to pull things back to center square with someone who’s being overly fair for themselves you are forced to do the same thing.

Ah well maybe Benjamin Disraeli had it right when he said “my idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.”

Livin' the Island Life

“Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on.” Chuck Noland

I spent a large amount of time last night talking with a good friend who’s in the process of starting a new business. It’s a bold move in a shaky economy but he’s highly committed and way past the point of no return. Everything is coming together, sort of, and he should up and running before the end of the year.

His angst is he has played “you bet your future” with this venture and although surrounded with really good people that he’s hand picked the realization that he’s, to use his phrase, “on the island by myself” is overwhelming him. The fact that everyone else is one bad mood away from waltzing away and leaving him stranded at this critical stage is eating at him right now.

It’s a tough spot. On one hand he wants to be the one in control, especially since it’s his money. On the other he wants people to be as committed as he is. I suggested he offer a piece of the action to those most key to his success. His counter was that offering a percentage of the business is fine, but if it’s merely “given” then there’s still no incentive to hang in - nothing in, nothing out, net zero.

OK, so make it be earned based upon benchmarks of success.

His counter, that’s good too but how does that help assure they’ll stay during this brutal start-up process.

OK, how about cash incentives for all the current effort.

Counter: “I’m doing this out of my own pocket, there’s just not a lot of extra cash”

Hmm….so ultimately this comes down to faith, guts and character. If his hand picked key people believe in his vision, know that he’s risking a large piece of life and wealth and trust that they will, in fact, realize pieces of the success of the business then there’s a good chance they’ll play the key roles he’s depending on both now and later.

If some (or all) of those elements are missing then all bets are off and my friend had better start figuring out some back up plans still knowing that new people will bring the same uncertainty and heartburn with them.

Funny, being in control a lot of times is everything but.

Building the Perfect Beast

"There is no glory in otustripping donkeys." Marcus Valerius Martialis

I wrote a while back about one of my personal and professional afflictions.

Pleaser’s Dilemma

One of the side effects of this affliction is the residual damage caused from the accumulation of weight while lugging all these “stones” around every day. The analogy would be small stones on the back of an ass. Each one is insignificant but there comes a time where the one you pack on breaks the back of the beast.

I had this happen the other day where a seemingly insignificant event sparked a meltdown that took me and, for sure, the people around me totally off guard. One of the problems with being a perpetual nice guy (yes, I really am a nice guy….really. No really) is when the dark side immerses no one really knows what to do with it. Me included.

So, I had myself locked in my cage for a couple of days in order to take everything apart, examine, clean and put back together with some reinforced pieces.

As I stated in Pleaser’s Dilemma I have no interest in changing the beast itself because it’s how I’m wired. See Hard Wired. But I do need to make the beast stronger as well learn to not pack on so many stones.

It’s funny, while locked away and tearing everything apart I was amused with how I knew the meltdown was close and actually made a weak attempt to bail out of the obligation that caused the spark that caused the meltdown. However, had I done that the meltdown would have only been temporarily delayed, not eliminated. Somehow I need to figure out a preventive maintenance program.

So, if you find yourself carrying too many stones, too often and too far and have found an effective way to both strengthen and reduce let me know the program.

In the meantime I’m going to test my new, stronger, reinforced beast by going back to the innocent bystanders that got blistered by my meltdown and offer to carry their stones around for a while.

One Year Later

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

One year ago today my family and my friends laid my wife Bonnie to rest at a little country cemetery in Southern Indiana. Interesting is that it's the farming community where I grew up not hers. But I think she always loved the beauty and serenity of the rolling southern Indiana countryside.

There's no proper adjective to describe the last 365 days. The lowest of lows, the darkest of dark, the coldest of cold combined with the discovery (and rediscovery) of the strength of family and friends and the human ability to heal and regenerate. The remembrance and regret, the fond memories and pain, the reflection and celebration all combine to paint a complex mosaic.

I walk into Year 2 ready to celebrate the past and embrace the future. Life is truly an adventure which means it's not a spectator sport. Bonnie was never a spectator, it's one of the many great lessons I learned from her.

Please see my post from last year, I still consider it one of my best.

Remembering Bonnie

They're cute when they're young

“Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own." Sidney J. Harris

By virtue of having always been in the technology business I have forever worked around young people. When I was young so was everyone else since the whole industry was young. Oh, I once had a boss who was forty, but he was an anomaly. As I grew older the young people, who now could actually go to school to be in the business, started packing in behind me and slowly me and my contemporaries became the minority as well as the ancient.

This has been good in so many ways. Young people bring so much energy and possess fearlessness that hasn’t yet been extracted from them. They bring new vision and new thoughts and new music and new language. They see things so differently.

Because of all this I’ve always felt younger than my age but I suppose many of us do as we reach “middle age”. But when you have to show up every day and work and hang with young people and then work for young people you get to make a choice.

Adapt and embrace or fight and fail.

I’m finding many of my old buddies slipping more and more into the fight and fail category. Not because they can’t adapt, not because they can’t keep up and not because they don’t have the juice anymore. See Old and Bold.

No, it’s mainly because they’re tired of having the exact same conversation on the exact same subject for the 9,487th time. Almost always with some Wunderkind who’s convinced they’ve found some problem so totally new and so totally different that no dinosaur from the age of mainframes could ever “get it”.

The problem is we “get it” too well since we’ve probably solved this type problem a thousand different times. So we tend to roll our eyes, sigh, give a 30 word explanation for solution and try to get on to other things. But Kid Wonder cannot accept that his totally unique situation can have such a straight-forward (and usually fairly simple) solution.

Arrogance vs. Apathy. And then the fight began

Part of the problem, as I’ve stated, is if you go back to our beginnings we were young but so was everyone else so we didn’t have the age barrier issues. Thus we never really adapted ourselves to young vs. old dynamics. Everyone was screaming at everyone else because we all, naturally, were right and we just had to get the others to shut up and listen.

So, yeah, we old’ns need to do a better job of catering to the ego of Boy Blunder. We need to frown and rub our temples, squint our eyes and proclaim that this, indeed, is a tough one and that we may need a few days to research and contemplate.

Nothing a week at Pebble Beach (on the company) probably wouldn’t solve.

Can I get a hand here, Captain?

“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.” Peter Drucker

Late Friday night I was in zombie zone after a long, hard, draining week. Not wanting to flop in bed too early for fear of popping awake in the middle of the night I decided to find something mind numbing on TV. And there it was a Season 1 episode of Star Trek. Who says you can’t find anything to watch with 732 satellite channels.

This was a really early one before Scotty and Sulu where all characters except Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Uhura were strictly death scene bait.

I was struck by how bad the acting really was and how cheesy the effects were but as I watched more I decided it was hard to tell how bad the acting was because of how bad the writing and directing was.

And then the money shot scene (as far as being a catalyst for this post, anyway).

The alien character was split between a “good” one and a “bad” one who were battling each other. Pretty normal stuff. Near the end the “good” alien convinces Kirk he can lure the “bad” one into an area where he can be captured. All he has to do is alter some of the controls on his small space vehicle. When Kirk asks if he can do it the alien says (here’s the good part). “Yes, captain, with your help I think I can do it”. Fade Scene.

New Scene. Alien is up to his neck in wires and modules and Kirk is leisurely leaning against the craft chatting him up. Not holding a spare part, a flashlight, a user manual. ((You can insert your state's DOT stories anywhere along withe way here.) Hell, he could have at least had a bottle of turtle wax and been buffing the panel of the spacecraft with his velour shirt.

Big help. Thanks Jim.

Jeez, how many times have we all had this happen? More importantly, how many times have we been Kirk?

A buddy of mine used to have a great poster of these cowboys riding hell for leather down a hill toward a river with the caption, “Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way”.

Or maybe if you’re the captain it’s “Lead, Loaf, or Lean”.

OK, let's try this one more time

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin

I got what’s become my weekly call from an old friend and acquaintance that’s on the job market. It was pretty much déjà vu all over again. No, not that another talented person lost their job, but that another long time friend who I hadn’t spoken to in many months broke The Strouse Manifesto which reads, “The two times you call everyone you’ve ever known is when you get a job and when you lose a job”. He had waited almost two months before getting started. The other part of the Manifesto reads, “Oh, and for the love of God, don’t wait until you lose your job to call people you know”.

Another buddy and I were talking about this over dinner tonight. There’s become this list of mutual friends where our conversations go like this:

Me: “Hey, guess who I got a call from today?”
Him: “Who?”
Me: Jimmy Billy Bob Joe MacDaddy
Him” “Whadda he want?”

Yep, they’ve become a cliché. The only time you ever hear from them is when they want something. The phone call or email come in from good ‘ol Jimmy Billy Bob and you roll your eyes knowing he’s out on the street and now is doing his “networking”.

Networking is a full-time gig and requires calls where you really do only want to know how the other person is doing, or you’re calling to make them aware of someone else being on the street, or you can’t remember if their daughter is graduating this year or next.

Now, let me be evenhanded, you can’t possibly stay in touch with everyone all the time. It’s not reasonable or practical and we’ve all called people strictly because we want something. I'm as guilty as everyone else and I'm sure there's people who will read this and label me a hypocrite. But when over the course of a couple of decades that’s the only time, well, you become a cliché.

People, I’ve preached this before (Tough Talk). Networks are funny things, easy to start, hard to perfect and can be lost from neglect.

So, start today, make a list and start contacting people just to say hello and find out how they’re doing. Note: How they are doing, not you, them.

There’s more but I really have call a couple of people tonight before it gets too late.

WWTD

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' Don Marquis

A friend was telling me about his latest escapade in the working world where his large company, that became larger by buying his previous large company, was being bought by a yet larger (largerer?) company. The new company uber-large company was promising great and marvelous things….for the investors, and thus were promising 70% downsizing to the rank-in-file.

So my buddy is dutifully going through the job search drill trying to beat the buzzer.

When I asked him how he was holding up his reply was “WWTD”.

“WWTD?”

“Will Work Till Death”

Ah-Ha and Amen.

I read an article a while back that stated that my parents generation – Depression era/ WWII – are the only group in the history of civilization that will get to “Retire”. Prior to them people just worked until they couldn’t go anymore then depended on family members to put them up for their remaining days which was usually a short amount of time.

My parents are in their mid-eighties, in good health, been retired since sixty-five, and are scared to death of running out of money. No one born in the 1920’s dreamed of living so long.

Now come the Boomers, followed by the Gen-X and Gen-Y folks and who knows how long “normal” life spans become and how much dough it’ll take to live outside of squalor.

But I know this, I’m not counting on company retirement plans (hell, the last company I worked for that had one was in the ‘70’s), Social Security (snort), Government programs (snort, snort) or professional investment groups (sn…nevermind).

Nope, WWTD is my slogan (unless I win that Mega Millions jackpot).

Old and Bold

“There are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots”

Those of us in the business world shouldn’t have to abide by that old Air Force adage but in a lot of ways we do.

A buddy sent me the follow article - Labeled

The fact is there’s getting to be a large number of us “experienced” veterans out there and we all are running into the overqualified stigma on an escalating scale. Probably the strangest element is the person sitting on the other side of the desk saying those words is often someone who would be labeled the same way if they were on the street.

You can almost understand it when it’s some droopy-eyed, wet-eared, thirty-something kid. I mean, after all, they still know everything so how could someone with 40 years of experience be of any value? Hell, we’re all worn out.

To be fair I find it ironic to be part of a generation that absolutely believed that anyone over the age of thirty was not to be trusted. More to the point, we didn’t really believe we’d live past the age of 30. (See Logan’s Run). I find it amusing when I listen to young people today talk about how uncertain the world is as I think back to the drills we had in school teaching us to kneel under the desk for when the thermo-nuclear attack from Russia came raining down.

But I digress.

I talk with many of my contemporaries about this dilemma and hear the same thing over and over. “My kids are grown, I have a lot left in the tank, I’m no longer interested in being the CEO, I don’t need the massive paycheck, I’d love to find a situation doing something interesting and have a position with some relevance where I could have some fun and use some of this talent I possess.”

Wow, could anyone out there use someone like that?

The fear on the hiring side is that us old guys:

Won’t be able to keep up
Aren’t capable of understanding “this new stuff”
Won’t be happy with a lesser position than they’ve had in the past
Will be unhappy with a lesser paycheck
Won’t fit in with a younger culture
Will require the company cafeteria to load up on bland food

Let’s see? Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, maybe.

There’s a lot of useful talent out there that’s ready, willing and able to help you and your company. Don’t want to take the chance of hiring some long-tooth in? Contract them for a project or a time limit. Do a bit of a test drive to see how things work out. If it’s not working after 90 days, cut it. If it’s working after six months put a package together.

But be careful. You might learn something.

Trap Doors

“To ask the hard question is simple” W.H. Auden

Having dinner with my son he was relating a meeting he’d recently had with the person his boss reports to. During the course of the conversation this ranking executive asked him how he was getting along with a particular co-worker. My son was brought in to this particular location to fix a problem with a particular department. This co-worker was the previous owner of this department and subsequently a large cause of the problem he was there to fix.

The co-worker had been moved to the Human Resources position (insert your favorite HR comment here) and had subsequently set out to use this position to try to make my son’s life miserable and was succeeding quite nicely.

The particular question was “do you feel your past with this person would affect you two from working together again in the future?”

My son answered, “I would never let past differences with anyone affect how I professionally deal with them, however, I can’t speak for how it may affect their ability to work with me”.

Nice answer to a “trap door” question.

Trap door questions are those that are almost impossible to answer correctly if you answer them honestly (Do you still beat your wife?), yet shuffling around the answer too much comes off sounding false.

Occasionally trap door questions are innocent and are hard to answer because they are ill-framed. But usually they are very purposeful and asked exactly as trap questions. The reasons to ask trap questions is to either test the person to see how they respond or to, in fact, trap them into an answer you can use against them.

I asked my son which motive he though was behind this one and he said he honestly didn’t know but would guess he was being tested more than trapped. Either way he gave a good, clean answer.

This is hard to do and I’m pretty proud of him.

Trap questions are very difficult. They’re not like interview questions where you’re somewhat braced for about any type of question. They usually come out of nowhere and are followed by the questioner leaning forward, getting out their magnifying glass and turning on the 1000 watt lamp.

This makes them very difficult to prepare for.

Of course, you could always have your own version of Inspector Clouseau’s house boy Cato who springs out from behind cubicle walls unexpectedly and asks you random trap door type questions so you can stay in practice.

Automate This!

“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.” – Dick Cavett

“Hello, you have reached our automated call attendant. Para la prensa 2 del español. Pour la presse 3 de Français. 為中國人新聞4. Για τον ελληνικό Τύπο 5. На русское давление 6. Para a imprensa 7 do português. Für deutsche Presse 8. Per la pressa italiana 9.

For English please stay on the line and one of our representatives from IndiIriPakiUkraniStan will help you.”

*sigh*

All I wanted was a Big Mac and a Coke.

So, it hasn’t gotten this bad – yet – but I’m convinced it’s coming quickly. And no, I’m really not against globalization. Just the opposite, by virtue of having circled the globe a few times I’m probably more ahead of the “We Are the World” curve than most of you.

What I’m against is lousy customer service. I’m against paying for service and not getting it. I have kids who are stuck in the “me generation” but I don’t want to deal with companies who are. I’ll pay more for service if I get it but I’m quickly waltzing away from companies who are more interested in paying less for each customer service call than they are for providing actual service. That’s what I’m against.

What I’m for is better business intelligence.

Profile away if it will help me get through the Airport, ATM, or any other line quicker, If you can profile when I call that I’m a dumb Hoosier who can barely speak English much less anything tricky like French and you route my call to someone in Terre Haute I’m a happy guy. If when I plug my card into the ATM it immediately asks me in English “Do you want your normal amount? I’m a happy guy. If I can walk into an airport, show them my finger, eye, tattoo, whatever and be sent on to the gate, I’m a happy guy.

You see, I’m a boring guy. I have nothing interesting going on so go ahead and watch me, listen in to my phone calls, track my internet, whatever but bring plenty of strong coffee ‘cause you’re going to be B-O-R-E-D out of your G-O-U-R-D.

Look, I get it. I really do. You have to make a profit along the way. I’m with you on that boat. But figure out if you’re cheaping your way into trouble by chasing your clients away.

I’ll leave you with a little thing that my good friend and former globetrotting buddy Tyler Allman sent me once upon a time. Anyone who’s traveled to foreign soil – Europe, Asia Pacific, South America, Florida or California – has probably had something like this happen.

A Call to Room Service
Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.
Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.
RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?
HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?
HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos. July Santos?
HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.
RS: No. Judo one toes?
HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means. I'm sorry.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we bother?
HG: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.
RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but...
RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Okay. Tendjewberrymud.
HG: You're welcome

How Dumb Are These Guys? - Part II

“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege” Unknown

Living in Michigan I have watched with mixed degrees of smirkish humor and queasy-stomach horror the recent soap opera that has produced GM (Government Motors) and Chrysler now being owned by that epitome of car quality Fiat (Fix It Again Tony).

I hear on the news that some sections of the country are beginning to show signs of recovery, but not here where we’re working under the FILO system.

But undaunted I trekked up into Northern Michigan with 39 other guys last weekend for an annual golf outing – well, annual for most of them, it was my first time with this group. It was a great time and a great bunch of guys, most of whom are native Michiganders. And yes, that’s the real term. And no, being a native Hoosier I can’t make fun of any other state moniker.

If you’re a golfer you really must put a Northern Michigan trip on your list. Absolutely some of the greatest courses you’ll ever play and lots of them. And since the season is only about 3 weeks long they’re always in great condition.

So, we’re having this great weekend with our 10 foursomes of pretty typical golf guys, that is, bad golf (but lots of it), unhealthy food (but lots of it), bad jokes (but lots of them) and drinking (but….hey, wait a minute). The drinking was way down. We didn’t have to call the Emergency Mobile AA Unit even once. What’s the deal?

Well the deal was the courses had a skeleton crew of beverage carts out. For those who don’t play golf, courses will put these golf carts out equipped with ice, beer, sodas, booze, food, et al. They have one purpose, to sell golfers more stuff, all of it with high margins. You know, a fifty cent can of beer for $4, kinda like the airlines. The one course had ONE cart covering two 18-hole courses.

The other unique thing about Northern Michigan golf courses is they’re cut out of wilderness so you don’t come by the clubhouse after the front nine. The one course had you drive your cart about a half-mile to start and then was over a mile back in when you finished number eighteen.

When I asked one of the workers about it the answer was “we’re cutting back because business is off”. Let’s see, you’re cutting back on the highest margin part of your business. You already own the beverage carts, you staff them with high school/collage age girls who work mainly for tips. I don’t get it. It’s not like we were the only people out there, there were other groups.

I don’t know but I think I would have had twice as many beverage carts as normal. The worse you play the more you drink and the worse you play and....well, you get the picture.

So I continue to marvel at some of the business decisions being made during this “crisis”. And I still stand on this not coming close to how bad it was during the Jimmy years in the Eighties, but that’s a different debate.

So, as is my policy I’ll ask you. What are you doing? Are you chasing away your existing higher profit business? Are you cutting across the board regardless of it’s impact? Are you analyzing your business or closing your eyes and hoping the putt goes in?

By the way, read "How Dumb Are These Guys? - Part I Here. And don't forget to link to the worlds best airline complaint at the end.

Tough Talk for Tough Times

“I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man” Ned Pepper

Living in Michigan I’ve had a front row seat for the demise of the economy and the crushing effect it has on people. Lots of jobs lost and no new ones to be found. What gets lost in the statistics are those situations like one of my friends found himself in this week where his salary was cut by 20% and his car allowance eliminated. Also lost is the mental grind of worrying about losing your job either through downsizing or your company going under. My son-in-law (and thus the rest of the family) finds himself in that situation as his company hovers constantly on the edge. The third category of unreported trauma is highlighted by another old friend who found a new job but only after many, many months of looking and at a salary well below normal.

It was really interesting to digest the conversations I had with these three people.

My friend who has taken a salary reduction remains optimistic and committed to his company and is willing to adjust his lifestyle to deal with what he hopes is a short-term situation.

My son-in-law also remains optimistic but has already used his small, but obviously good, network to find three, yes three, safety nets for new jobs. None of them are perfect; one would require relocation, one mega travel and the third a reduction of income, but nevertheless.

The other old friend who just started the new job spent the entire conversation grousing about how long his commute to work was and how low the salary is although it has good upside with commissions and once trained the ability to work several days a month from home. He expressed no relief to finally getting a job, no excitement for learning a new product and no optimism for performing well and earning commissions.

It caused me to go back to one of early posts Ten Simple Rules. My reduced salary friend seems to be following many of them although I wish he would spend some of his time networking and searching out some safety nets. My son-in-low I’m very proud of as he’s neither bailing out nor standing pat.

The third, however, is very disturbing. Not only will his negativity work against him being successful in this job but it will hurt him going forward. A lot of people, me included, helped him during his dry spell by firing up our networks and promoting him to others. This particular job was secured through the efforts of one of his friends who has a really strong friendship with the hiring manager. In talking with his sponsor (who’s a mutual friend) he has also been subjected to the negativity and is pretty steamed about it.

I’m adding another Bonus Rule to the Ten Simple Rules. Never piss off your network!

Blogging vs. Life

Never rise to speak until you have something to say, and when you have said it, cease." John Witherspoon

I got a call from an old friend wanting to talk to me about blogging. He’s getting ready to launch a blog through his business site and incorrectly assumed that since I publish a blog that I know something about the subject.

However, I didn’t tell him otherwise and, per usual, starting making things up as we spoke. This is great fun and I get great joy out of occasionally having someone later on say to me “Hey, remember that great advice you gave me several months ago, well I followed it and it worked out great”.

“Really?” “Wow!” Maybe I should pay more attention to what I’m saying, huh?

Anyway, I passed on to him what others passed on to me about creating a blog. Essentially:

Speak about things of which you have knowledge

Concentrate on topics that interest you.

Don’t start it if you’re not committed to continuing it.

Make sure you have enough material in the bank for when the Idea ATM runs dry.

If you’re only purpose is self-promotion, no one will probably pay attention.

Hmmm…now that I think about it that’s a pretty good list to follow for just about anything. Life, work, love, hobbies, et al. Probably if we all followed that little blog roadmap we’d all be better off.

I’ve already written about one of my favorite “corporate” blogs. Catch. Here’s another. Art Petty. Art is a self-admitted blog fanatic and cranks one out on a daily basis. They’re good, topical, focused and he’s certainly committed. Anyone in a management position (or striving to be) should put this one in your favorites.

You're kidding me, right?

“Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.” Albert Schweitzer

Those who only know me a little know what distain I have for the airline industry. This makes me not unique, special nor lonely because it’s a big club. I wrote about airlines twice last year Dumb and Dumber. But another thing occurred today that I have to rant about. But, this is, I promise, the last airline rant. They’re not going to change and I have to get on with things.

But….

I’ve been a Northwest Airlines flyer since 1992. In that time I’ve looped the globe a few times and in the process logged a couple million miles. I only bring this up to point out that they know me (or should).

The fact is, Greg is my middle name. Long story but I’ve never been called by my first name, which is Arthur. My drivers license, passport, etc. all say Arthur Gregory Strouse. Always have. When I signed up for the Northwest frequent flyer program in 1992 I listed it under Greg Strouse. Just like all my other programs with American, Delta, US Air, United, Southwest…well, you get the point. Over the course of the past 17 years my tickets have listed me as “Greg”, “Arthur”, “Arthur G.”, “A. Gregory” depending on who was making the reservation. All along my miles got credited properly. When I got back from a vacation trip a while back I noticed while checking to see how many miles it is to Puerto Vallarta that I didn’t get credit for the trip. When I looked up the code it said “Name doesn’t match Worldperks number”. Upon checking with Northwest they said, “Yes, your ticket was listed under “Arthur” and your program name is “Greg”. Uh, yeah, always has been. Then I discovered that several trips over the past year didn’t get mileage credit either for the same reason.

“Excuse me; I said to the representative, can you explain this”.

“Well sir, you can only have one first name register on the program. If you use Greg you must always have your ticket read Greg, but you shouldn’t do that because you must use your ‘legal’ name.”

“Uh, Greg is my legal name. So is Arthur.”

“Well sir, you must choose one and always and only use that name for mileage credit”.

“So, what changed, it didn’t used to be like this”

“National Security”

“National Security??”

“Yes sir”.

“So, you’re inability to have a simple database that can link Greg Strouse, Worldperks # 000 000 000 to Arthur Strouse Worldperks # 000 000 000 is one of ‘National Security’”??

“Sir, you don’t have to take that tone with me”.

*sigh*

My frustration aside, the business lesson from this is pretty straight-forward: DON’T DO THINGS LIKE THIS!!! It’s sad enough that a bad company in a bad industry with a long reputation for poor customer service continues to treat their customers like “flatties” (a great story I read once I’ll tell you about someday) but it shouldn't encourage others to follow their lead.

Post Script: I finished this on an airplane ride on Delta. Of course, being Delta I had to go through Atlanta, even though I was only going from Detroit to Chicago…..ok, I made that up but they’re almost that bad. I was excited to post so I went to the Delta Club and when I tried to log on to their WiFi I got a “must subscribe” message. Subscribe for WiFi in a lounge you have to pay to get into in the first place???? So I went to the desk and asked for a password. He said, “Sorry sir, you have to pay for a password, but” he said with delight “tomorrow it becomes free”. All the while he was holding a hand full of cards that would become worthless the next day. You can add the seven expletives that was injected into the “that doesn’t help me a lot today, does it?”

Airlines, I’m convinced, exist in spite of themselves.

Change I can believe in?

“It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'” Sam Levenson

General Motors, in trying to qualify for MORE federal aid (you can read my feeling on the subject here Eat What You Kill) is negotiating with Washington on the terms. Some of the changes they’re discussing include dropping the Pontiac and GMC lines and only keeping Chevy, Cadillac and Buick. They’re already trying to sell off Saturn, Saab and Range Rover. More terrible news for Detroit but my question is why has it taken so long? I mean over the past 20 years these brands have smerged into clones that you can only tell apart if you’re close enough to see the badge. If you can’t profitably make and service multiple, non-descript brands you need to eliminate them.

Good God, when WASHINGTON can see things more clearly than a once proud and profitable business you know things have gone to hell in a hand basket.

If companies don’t make ALL the moves necessary to be profitable and have satisfied customers (even if there are less of them) what will they have left when it ends?

I continue to be distressed that poorly run companies are being bailed out with tax dollars. Government advisors are having to point out the obvious to these guys who are trying desperately to make the most minimal move possible to get more handouts.

Really, it has to end. Until there’s proof that there’s genuine interest in them helping themselves the tax money should go to the people who are.

Are you making strong positive moves to stay healthy (if you are) or get healthy (if you’re not), or are you rearranging the deck chairs and hoping thing around you improve so you don’t have to?

Remember friends, hope is not a strategy.

Red, White & Blue with Envy

“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.” Oscar Levant

Since starting “Tales from an XOD” I have quite naturally become more interested in other blogs. I like to read the professional ones for tips on style and content, after all these people generate revenue from their sites. I like private ones because they usually provide the best raw emotion, sharp insight and blatant humor. I obviously like the ones from people in my industry since I relate to them the most.

But then a friend sent me this link Catch. It’s my first experience with blog envy. This blog is sharp, smart and funny, it’s a professional site with all the upside of a personal one. I love everything about it to the point I’m thinking about just pointing my blog URL to theirs and calling it good.

Most of all my friend who sent me the link is the same guy I’ve had a running dialog with for years (hell, decades) about snagging the golden ring in one of these start ups we’ve trudged through and opening Bubba & Gator’s Bait N’ Tackle down south somewhere. Now, the guys at Catch Your Limit Consulting have essentially done that without having to sell minnows and perform small engine repair.

Ah, envy. It’s not a bad thing.

For every business that think they have to be shined up and buttoned down, here you go, proof positive that you can be both down home and up town.

Great job, guys. I hope to buy y’all a beer someday.

Logo your way to success

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." Abraham Lincoln

Business bad? Revenue down? Creditors at your door? Can’t get a win?

Change your logo like the Lions.

The Detroit Lions. Yes, those Detroit Lions. The 0-16 in 2008 Detroit Lions. The Detroit Lions owned by the Ford family. Yes, that Ford family.

The Detroit Lions changed their logo this week…kind of. Same basic shape, just with a bit more edge; different font on the name; same Honolulu blue.

It’s not like when the Cincinnati Bengals changed their logo. They went from this Old Logo to this New Logo.

Now that’s a change. They also went to the Super Bowl a few years after the change.

So maybe there’s something in changing how you look. Create a little buzz, give the sales people something to talk about with clients and prospects, put a little hop in the step of the employees with new shirts and coffee mugs.

Of course, it helps more to have a franchise quarterback, a stud O lineman and a shut down defensive back….

Death to Smoochy

“Get busy living, or get busy dying”. Andy Dufresne

I’m becoming mesmerized as an observer, and more than a little frustrated as a participant, in the death spiral this “economic condition” has put us in.

As much as I understand and agree that the highest priority of today must be surviving so you can open your doors tomorrow, the decisions some are making are distressing. It’s as if just having the Open sign on is the sole objective and being in “business” has become a foreign concept.

I was talking through this with a buddy and he correctly nailed the syndrome with the band aid analogy. When you’re taking a band aid off do you quickly rip it off or slowly, deliberately peel it off? Another one would be the getting in a cold pool of water. Do you plunge in or inch in slowly?

Small case in point: I live in the downtown of a small city so I usually walk places. Walking back from my bank one day – and by the way, they come into play later – I decided to stop in a deli to get a salad to take home for lunch. The place wasn’t crowed but a group of six people had walked in just before me. There was one person working the place, during the lunch period. One. As I watched this single entity try to take orders, make orders and ring orders I did a quick time calculation and decided to limp on home and make myself some soup. Haven’t been back, probably won’t.

Big deal? No, but it’s worth noting.

Bigger case in point: I met with my bank – you know, the one I was walking back from – because they had just consolidated with a bunch of other regional banks, changed their name, laid off a bunch of people and sent out positive, upbeat letters to their customers telling us how great this news was.

OK, but as the people who hold the paper on my commercial building, which must be rewritten this year, I thought getting a face-to-face update might be worthwhile. Here’s what I was told, “Greg, you’re a really good customer, have been for ten years, meet our prime profile as a ‘owner occupied’ client. There are no issues rewriting your loan….however, as we’re telling all our customers, if you can find another institution to take your loan, you should”.

“So, you’d really rather I go away?”

“No, no, not at all. We’re telling many of our customers they must find someone else to take their loan. We’re telling our good ones it’s OK if they do. Oh, and we’re not making any new loans of any type.”

Wow.

I was telling these stories to my friend and neighbor who’s been in the publishing business for the past 35 years. He wasn’t surprised but was equally distressed. He told me that he had made some deep and hard cuts well over a year earlier, including eliminating a publication he’s had for over 15 years, and although things were tight he was doing quite well and in fact circulation had recently increased. Mainly, he felt, because he had focused his attention on taking care of his existing customers over searching out new ones because he couldn’t afford to do both.

So my question is, once things bottom out then improve, and they will, what will my deli and my bank and those like them have left? I understand using this situation as a time to release marginal customers, employees, products, et al. I also get that hard decisions need to be made, but if there’s nothing left at the end what’s the exercise? Shouldn’t you just go ahead and lock the door and not confuse people?

Decide something! Decide to protect your good customers even if the cost is not securing new ones. Or, decide you want all new clients anyway and tell your current ones to go away. Or decide you’re going to barge on trying to do both the best you can until they drag your cold, dead carcass out of the building.

What are you and your company doing right now? Are you inching the band aid off, hoping things improve before you have to inch it some more? Are you paralyzed by the situation where you’re neither servicing your existing customers nor hunting new ones?

Make the call, take the plunge, pull that bad boy off quickly and get busy living.

The art of not getting it

“I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.” Thomas Jefferson

Last year before my mojo was stolen, when the economy was merely bad and hadn’t yet become truly stupid, I wrote that this was either the best time to jump in and invest or wait it out. Dark Days Indeed. I also mentioned that my decision was to jump in and start a new business.

Now, it’s not a big business and certainly not something I’d give up my day job for, although there are probably those that would claim they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. But I am blessed (and cursed) with owning a beautiful retail space in a great little downtown that happens to be empty since it’s where my late wife Bonnie had her business. By virtue of the fact that it was originally a gas station it has a large street side patio area that now has landscaping where the pumps used to be.

Bonnie, the true visionary, always looked at the space and thought it would make a perfect wine bar, especially with the patio included. So why not? I love wine, I have the space, and it’s not like people are knocking each other over to lease the space in these times. So I’ve been systematically moving through the steps.

Here’s where it starts getting stupid. I learned of a state program to assist small business owners improve the appearance of their facility. Cool. Although my patio area is beautifully landscaped it’s not conducive being a good area for commerce. In other words, it needs to be totally redone. Perfect situation for the state funds, right? Uh, not so much.

Here was the exchange between the State of Michigan and my city representative: SoM: “Is this the place?” City: “Yes”. SoM: “It’s already been improved.” City: “But it doesn’t work for the business he wants to put in”. SOM: “But it’s already been improved”. City: “It’s been landscaped, but it needs to be fenced in and be restructured for commercial use”. SoM: “But it’s already been improved”. And so on.

Needless to say, I’m getting no state money.

Then there’s my bank – my commercial bank. I won’t bore you with the exact dialog but the essence of the conversation comes down to that I have plenty of equity and great credit, but, uh, well, the best I can make out banks don’t make loans any more. Actually to be more accurate, the quote was “we’re making no loans to anyone at this time”. So, I’m not sure exactly what they do, but providing capital doesn’t appear to be one of them. I asked my handler from the bank what their Mission Statement is. When he fumbled for an answer I suggested they use the Hotel California missive. “You can check your money in but it can never leave”.

So essentially the only way you can get money these days is if you take your big company, manage it badly, break all the rules (and a bunch of laws) and then beg the government to bail you out; which they will do and as a bonus not put any oversight on what you do with the money.

Therefore I’m thinking too small. There’s no reward for being sensible, I need to greatly overreach my bounds and when it doesn’t work out I’ll just beg for one of those $250,000+ jobs being created by the stimulus package. I mean, if the package costs $787 billion…I’m sorry…BILLION…and it’s going to created 3 million jobs then each job is worth $262K. Not bad, I could make that work.

So, where’s the XOD advice in this post? Well, for one read the Pragmatic Marketing blog Tuned In where they talk about the 10 steps for winning in a down economy. The other, I guess, is don’t look for help from anyone closer than yourself these days. And you know, that’s probably as it should be anyway.

Thank you, doctor. I feel better.

All things to all people

“There is no safety in numbers….or in anything else” James Thurber

I’ve said before that I try to keep this blog neutral as far as religion, politics, race, gender, etc. So, I only bring this up as a springboard into what I really want to discuss.

Every election year I’m amused, amazed, astounded, stupefied and horrified by how the person trying to become the elected official of “the free world” pulls out all the stops to portray themselves as ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE. It happened again and now we’re going to put out a lot of money in order that campaign promise gets kept.

I could bore you with how I feel we should all pay much more attention to who we elect locally than nationally but you either already get that…or don’t… so why try to put lipstick on the pig.

The United States of America is arguably the most diverse country on the planet. For as silly as we can sometime be, we are more tolerant than most. Few other places would allow some of the goofballs we have to be prominent figures. So how, I mean HOW, can any one person be elected just to help me or the people like me while at the same time equally helping those that are very opposite of me? I mean, really!

I only bring it up at all to make my business point. Name me the company who successfully pulled off being “All things….”?

Some have tried. Chesebrough-Pond’s grew to have sales in excess of $1 billion dollars in the 70’s (that’d be real money today) until it decided that it could be “All things….”. Here’s the story: http://www.answers.com/topic/chesebrough-pond-s-usa-inc?cat=biz-fin. Likewise the 1990 book “Barbarians at the Gate: The Fall of RJR Nabisco” tells a great, and true, tale of a free-for-all leveraged buyout of a conglomerate that peddled cigarettes and food among other things. In the world of technology no one floats to the top faster than Computer Associates. My buddies and I have always fantasized about being allowed into the CA warehouse where they keep all the cast-off products they got from acquisitions that they never looked at again. I envision it being like the warehouse at the end of the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark.

There is no doubt that companies can lock themselves in too finely. Railroads never seemed to get the fact that they’re in the transportation business, not just the rail business, for instance. The old adage “focus or falter” is still worth paying attention to.

One of the dangers today is there are a lot of struggling companies who can be acquired for what will seem to be a pittance. You’ll be able to work the spreadsheets and convince yourself the risk will be minimal. What won’t show up in the spreadsheet will be the hidden costs of distraction, new baby syndrome, and the inevitable “gotcha” issues that never came out in the due diligence. All of a sudden this piece of cake has become a pile of dung.

Ask yourself a critical question: “Does this company/technology strengthen, enhance or move forward our existing strategy, or are we changing our strategy to accommodate it?”

That’s not to say it’s not a buyers market, but as the signs warning of low ceilings say in England “Mind Your Head”.

Lookin' for my mojo

"I'm sorry I can't, baby. Dr. Evil stole my mojo while I was frozen" Austin Powers

To say I've been in a blogging funk would be like saying the economy has been in a mild slump. Probably never in history has there been more material for someone like me to use as a trampoline. But, it just hasn't been there and no amount of self-pep talking was going to change it.

My blogging mojo is MIA. I know why (and many of you know too). But knowing and doing something about it are two different animals.

Well, maybe I've found sparkle of "mojo light" that can lead me back to my old, cockeyed, sardonic self.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet our new President.

Last year I wrote a blog entitled "What's your Say:Do Ratio?" Say:Do. The essence of it is that not many people DO what they SAY they're going to. A correction to the blog, as sent in by a reader, points out that the lower the number the better the Say:Do ratio. That is, if someone does everything they say they're going to, then it would be a Say:Do ratio of 1:1. A perfect score.

So I have a buddy, Craig Levy, who read that blog and using it as inspiration back during the pre-election days started logging what each candidate was saying they were going to do if elected. Once a winner was declared he built a spreadsheet of all the major promises. In this case Mr. Obama's (he was going to track it regardless of who won).

So, before I go forward a couple of full-disclosure points. I did not vote for Mr. Obama. However, I would like nothing more than for his first four years to be a resounding success to the point that the Republicans don't even run someone against him next time. The country could use a real hero right now. Also, I think it's sad that any candidate has to make blind promises just to get elected. Mr. Obama has done that. Mr. McCain was doing it, too. Sadly no one will elect a president who says "I'm sure there are things that I don't even have a clue about until I get to look under the hood at the White House, so promises made right now may be hollow."

But, that's the system and Mr. Obama got elected on a platform of hope and change. I hope he's careful about what he changes and doesn't play into the old joke "we have the greatest country in the world and I'm here to change it".

So, Mr. Levy and I will be tracking - I can say it as of today - President Obama's Say:Do ratio and reporting along the way.

What does it have to do with my XOD blog? I dunno, but if it helps me find my mojo then the new president has already helped one person out.

More to come.