Say, Do and repeat

A first for my blog.  I'm republishing an old post.  I've been getting really,  really bugged recently because I feel I'm surrounded by people who promise, promise, promise but never deliver.  It's one thing when you kind of force people to give you a commitment but these guys repeated volunteer delivery details then are not heard of again until I chase them down.  As I was thinking about drafting this I went "hey, I've written about this before".  So, here it is....again.

Say Do

Jellybeans

Groupon's CEO Andrew Mason was just fired and to his credit he sent an open and endearing message out about it Mason. 

When Leaf, Barley & Vine was open I tried a Groupon program once.  Hated it.  No, let me be clear, HATED IT.  As you can see from the picture my General Manager didn't care for it much either.

What you can see in the picture is the stack of Groupon's that were cashed in...on the last night they were valid.  That's six months after they were bought.  They equal about 40% of all that were bought.  We got crushed.  It was a Wednesday night which is normally moderate and we got killed.  First time customers who came because of the Groupon probably never came back our service was so bad.  Loyal customers just left and went elsewhere.  Some came back another night.

We knew the number of outstanding vouchers and staffed up an additional person but it wasn't enough.  If I would have called in every on-staff person it wouldn't have been enough.

That incident, however, is not why I hate the program.  I hate the program because it's bad business.  Great for the customer (except when they wait till the last night and get lousy service) and great for Groupon, but not for the business owner.

Reasons why:

One.  Not profitable.  The way the program works is you offer a service or package at a highly discounted price.  Ours was $30 of appetizers and drinks for $15.  The $15 was split between LBV and Groupon, so we made no profit on each one.  The rationale for doing it it to bring in new customers who either don't know about you or wouldn't normally come in.  And oh, by the way, most voucher carrying customers tip on the discounted amount not the value amount.  If you're one of those.  Stop it.

Two.  One-sided.  People go out and buy programs from Groupon.  In our case about 500 people bought vouchers that were good for six months.  So it generated $7,500.  Groupon kept  half and we got half.  But not all at once.  Groupon pays it out in thirds over two months.  So they get all theirs up front and the float on yours for several weeks.

Three.  Jellybeans.  A long time ago as a young manager I proposed an incentive program for my employees that essentially paid them small bonuses in either cash or gifts for "doing good things".  When I proposed the idea to my manager he said, "jellybeans".  "Jellybeans?" I asked.  "Yep, jellybeans".  He went on to explain that programs like the one I was proposing was essentially a jellybean program in that if you always give your kids a jellybean to get them to do something - a chore or whatever - then all you're doing to teaching them to expect something any time they do anything.  Over time they won't do anything unless there's a jellybean waiting.  Groupon is a jellybean program.  What we've learned is there's a large group of people that will only go out if they have a discount voucher in their hand.  So you don't end up amassing a new set of customers because they go on the the next jellybean being offered.

Thus I'm not surprised that Groupon is not making their numbers, have a low stock price and fired their CEO.  Too many of us tried it and said never again and then when asked by other business owners if they should try it gave them a resounding NO.  Any time I'm asked if I ever tried Groupon or something similar I always answer "twice". (It's my line when asked if I've ever run a marathon.  "Twice", I say, "1996 Detroit Marathon, my first and my last".  Discount programs are a fad that's run their course and Groupon is on the down side of the fad.

Discounting is fine if you're a discount store and that's your business model but it's a horrible way to do business otherwise.  Build your brand, deliver good service, demand quality, offer something unique and leave the jellybeans in the jar.

Will and Vic

"The reason a lot of people are Purdue fans? Because they can't afford Final Four tickets." Tom Swanson

Yes, I'm a pretty happy guy right now. My Indiana Hoosiers are riding high again, finally. They've just come off an epic victory against Michigan State and are looking good getting ready to head into the tournaments (Big Ten and NCAA).

Coach Tom Crean has done a masterful job of resurrecting this storied old program bringing it from the brink of chaos (one scholarship player who used to be a walk-on) to being ranked #1 in the nation.  It shows no signs of slowing down due to success on the court combined with a rich basketball history, the best fan base in the country and a relentless recruiting presence.

Due to these factors Coach Crean is able to get the attention of many of the top high school ball players in the land.  His upcoming recruiting classes are already ranked in the top 10.  Yes, success breeds success.

Here’s my worry.  Where do the future Will Sheehey’s and Victor Oladipo’s come from?

Who?

Will and Vic.

Here’s the point.  Victor Oladipo is a 6’5” Junior.  He is currently in strong contention for National Player of the Year (POY) in college basketball.  Will Sheehey is a 6’6” Junior who is currently the leading candidate for National Sixth Man of the Year and only doesn’t start because of the energy and chaos he brings when he comes off the bench.

Neither player was highly regarded coming out of high school.  Neither had offers from any of the big time programs except Indiana and that was primarily because IU was in total rebuilding mode and couldn’t get the attention of many of the top players.  Both were known as good athletes but not necessarily good basketball players.

Both have developed into top players on the current best team in the country.  How?  Well, both, as mentioned, are very athletic which obviously helps.  They have great coaches and top notch facilities in which to practice.  But what they have brought with them is an edge.  A burning desire to show all those people who disregarded them what a tremendous mistake they made.

We see this every year when teams from lesser regarded conferences come into the tournament with players who weren’t recruited by the Indiana’s, Kentucky’s and Duke’s and wreak havoc with kids who have something to prove.

Finding talent – from high school ball players to your next new hire – cannot always be measured by recruiting rankings or GPA’s from highly regarded schools(although let’s be honest, it certainly helps) but sometimes you need to find that person with an edge, something to prove and bring them in and help them develop.  Your next Will or Victor could be out there.

Please, ban me

 
"I wrote a letter to the Catholic Church, who had banned the song 'Only the Good Die Young' and asked them to please ban my next record"  Billy Joel

I was having lunch with a buddy and he asked me if I thought the president was in cahoots with the gun industry.

"Sorry?"

"Do you think Obama is working with the firearms industry.  You know, to help them out?"

"Dude, he's trying to outlaw people owning firearms.  Hardly seems like he would be on their Christmas card list".

"Yeah, but they're selling guns at a historic rate.  You can't find ammo.  The prices are skyrocketing.  It's kinda like what Y2K was to the tech industry."

"So, let me get this right." I said.  "The president puts the scare in people that guns will be outlawed.  People panic and buy everything they can get their hands on.  The firearms industry has a windfall.  Some of that makes it way into some 'charity' the president favors.  Then nothing really changes when new laws never make it through Congress and both sides make out like bandits.  Is that what you're saying?"

Pause

I hate that "Are you that stupid?" look I get sometimes.

Hmmmm

Then my buddy, who's in the automotive paint business says "yeah, if I could just get them to ban paint I'd make a killing."

Hmmmmmmmmm

So, the key is to get into a business that the Federal Government decides to ban.  People buy whatever it is at alarming rates.  You rake in tons of cash and go find the next industry in the cross hairs of the Government.

As I've said before. Talent  Why don't they teach this stuff in school?

The Art of Dawdling

"Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder." Mason Cooley
 

So, I have all this interesting stuff happening.  “Fodder for future blogs” I called it.  And, it’s SLOOOOWLY dragging on.  And what, I’m surprised?  Well yes….and no.   OK, actually no.  But I am surprised and irritated about it.  Irritated because after all these years as an XOD the last thing I should be is surprised.  Because the axiom that I embraced (and maybe co-created) is this:  “Nothing ever gets accomplished on time and on budget”.  Never!

The only projects that get done on time are those that have extraordinary amounts of flex (spelled M-O-N-E-Y) built in.  The only ones that get done on budget involve either those companies that are out of business just after (or just before) the project is completed or it’s a budget funded by taxpayers.

So I’m dawdling.

daw·dle (dôd l)
v. daw·dled, daw·dling, daw·dles
v.intr.

1. To take more time than necessary: dawdled through breakfast.

2. To move aimlessly or lackadaisically: dawdling on the way to work

I’m just killing time trying to come up with something that appears worthwhile while I wait on the real material.  Let’s call it Productive Dawdling.

Then it occurred to me.  Productive Dawdling is a powerful tool.  You see, we all run into situations in corporate life where you sometimes need to wait out the crap. (Important safety tip, this does not apply to self-employment/small business ownership).   Crap can be defined as anything from impending change in management to some AHDD manager who can’t stay on task for more than 5 minutes (aka, chasing shiny objects).  See Dancin' with Joe

Sometimes you just need to work on things that serve a purpose but don’t get in way of work that’s going to be squashed by some corporate initiative/mandate/bozo.

Productive Dawdling.

Be careful though, don’t make it a career.  It’s an easy trap to fall into since in larger organizations you can successfully hide for years under this cloak.  But it can become a trap.

Use it for good, not evil.

There.  See?  If you distract them with Productive Dawdling they forget that you actually ended up not doing anything. 

Wait.  Damn!!  Did I say tha out loud????

A New Hope

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to reform."  Mark Twain

2013 has opened with a bang.  So much to talk about but things are happening at a rate that makes it tough to grab a topic.  The teaser is that I've closed down the wine bar, have a buyer for the building who wants a new tenant in ASAFP.  So, this turn of events is going to not only give me great fodder for future blogs but also let me re-address some old blogs done under the "LBV Chronicles" banner.

But as I said, it's moving too fast right now.  So I'm going do what any savvy, crusty, sneaky Product Manager would do.  Cheat.

Here is a great new post from one of my favorite blogger - The Cranky Product Manager. Ten Things

Be back with one of my own soon.

Surviving 12.12.12

"Survive, stay alive, through the thick and the thin.  Survive, stay alive, until is all ends."  Jimmy Buffett

Wow.  That was close.  After surviving from 01.01.01 to 12.12.12 we can now relax since the next alignment of repeating calendar numbers won't happen until the year 2112.  A date I can predict with absolute certainty that I won't be around to witness.

But good news everyone.  If the Mayan calendar prediction is true none of us will be around then either since the world is once again coming to an end in a few more days.  Ah, if only we could be so lucky.  No remorse for losing a loved one as we expire one-by-one.  No wandering around in a zombie-filled post-Apocalyptic world once the Middle East FINALLY decides to kill each other (and everyone else).  No fiscal cliff....

Side note:  I will admit to not paying close attention to the daily reports on the Presidential election but after spending a reported TWO BILLION DOLLARS collectively on the campaign did the term "fiscal cliff" ever come up?

Anyway, it appears if we survive 12/21/12 there's really nothing else on the Armageddon calendar to worry about.  Except inside the beltway.

So, guess we have to think about working for a living.

So, what are your business plans for 2013 and beyond?  The economy is not going to magically transform itself to the wild and wacky 80's or the delusional dot.bomb days of the late 90's.

It's going to be a time for sense and sensibility.  Fiscal responsibility combined with riverboat gambler nerves.  Loyalist vs. Survivalist.

It's going to be fun.

See you next week........maybe.