"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung
This is a republish of an earlier post.
I have for time eternal used the phrase “wired” to describe people’s actions.
What I mean by this is that I believe people have internal elements that make them act consistently in given situations. I’ve known people that would lie even though the situation didn’t demand or warrant it. I’ve known people who will always argue a counter point even though there’s no cause. Or people who consistently blame others for their problems.
With these people I will normally shrug and say “they’re wired that way”.
I’ve also known people that if you handed them $100,000 in hundred dollar bills and asked them to take care of it for “a year or two” that when you returned not only would the money be there but it would be the exact same hundred dollar bills. Or people who will help out regardless of the hour or reason. Or people that when they make a commitment you never think about it again because you know it will be handled as promised.
With these people I will smile and say “they’re wired that way”.
The longer I’m around the more I’m convinced of this is the most reliable method for predicting how people will react in situations. If you can determine how a person is wired you will know with almost certainty how they will react.
The key is you have to pay attention and not let your feelings (good or bad) for that person cloud what you’re seeing.
I’ve made this mistake more times than I’m willing to admit (on my own blog site anyway). I will see a person in enough situations to know how they’re wired but because of emotion, time constraints, apathy, et al I will ignore the obvious and either get burned because I knew they were wired to do the negative or irritate someone by not allowing them the space to do what they were wired to do.
So, start watching how people around you are wired, it’s really pretty easy once you start paying attention.
And by the way, spend a little time on yourself.
This is a republish of an earlier post.
I have for time eternal used the phrase “wired” to describe people’s actions.
What I mean by this is that I believe people have internal elements that make them act consistently in given situations. I’ve known people that would lie even though the situation didn’t demand or warrant it. I’ve known people who will always argue a counter point even though there’s no cause. Or people who consistently blame others for their problems.
With these people I will normally shrug and say “they’re wired that way”.
I’ve also known people that if you handed them $100,000 in hundred dollar bills and asked them to take care of it for “a year or two” that when you returned not only would the money be there but it would be the exact same hundred dollar bills. Or people who will help out regardless of the hour or reason. Or people that when they make a commitment you never think about it again because you know it will be handled as promised.
With these people I will smile and say “they’re wired that way”.
The longer I’m around the more I’m convinced of this is the most reliable method for predicting how people will react in situations. If you can determine how a person is wired you will know with almost certainty how they will react.
The key is you have to pay attention and not let your feelings (good or bad) for that person cloud what you’re seeing.
I’ve made this mistake more times than I’m willing to admit (on my own blog site anyway). I will see a person in enough situations to know how they’re wired but because of emotion, time constraints, apathy, et al I will ignore the obvious and either get burned because I knew they were wired to do the negative or irritate someone by not allowing them the space to do what they were wired to do.
So, start watching how people around you are wired, it’s really pretty easy once you start paying attention.
And by the way, spend a little time on yourself.
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1 comment:
Greg - this and your "Talent" post make me think of the Johnson O'Connor and MBTI types of personality inventories. The more I work on improving myself, the more I realize I have control over some of the things I do and ways I act or think, and no control over others.
No matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to remember dates and birthdays and phone numbers like my wife. But I can program any VCR, write a blog post (although I haven't done it lately), or solve a technical problem that she wouldn't have a hope of. Most people don't even know what their strengths and weaknesses are, or assume that whatever anyone else can do, they can. It's humbling to realize that's not the case.
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