Tuesday, May 12, 2009

You're kidding me, right?


“Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.” Albert Schweitzer

Those who only know me a little know what distain I have for the airline industry. This makes me not unique, special nor lonely because it’s a big club. I wrote about airlines twice last year Dumb and Dumber. But another thing occurred today that I have to rant about. But, this is, I promise, the last airline rant. They’re not going to change and I have to get on with things.

But….

I’ve been a Northwest Airlines flyer since 1992. In that time I’ve looped the globe a few times and in the process logged a couple million miles. I only bring this up to point out that they know me (or should).

The fact is, Greg is my middle name. Long story but I’ve never been called by my first name, which is Arthur. My drivers license, passport, etc. all say Arthur Gregory Strouse. Always have. When I signed up for the Northwest frequent flyer program in 1992 I listed it under Greg Strouse. Just like all my other programs with American, Delta, US Air, United, Southwest…well, you get the point. Over the course of the past 17 years my tickets have listed me as “Greg”, “Arthur”, “Arthur G.”, “A. Gregory” depending on who was making the reservation. All along my miles got credited properly. When I got back from a vacation trip a while back I noticed while checking to see how many miles it is to Puerto Vallarta that I didn’t get credit for the trip. When I looked up the code it said “Name doesn’t match Worldperks number”. Upon checking with Northwest they said, “Yes, your ticket was listed under “Arthur” and your program name is “Greg”. Uh, yeah, always has been. Then I discovered that several trips over the past year didn’t get mileage credit either for the same reason.

“Excuse me; I said to the representative, can you explain this”.

“Well sir, you can only have one first name register on the program. If you use Greg you must always have your ticket read Greg, but you shouldn’t do that because you must use your ‘legal’ name.”

“Uh, Greg is my legal name. So is Arthur.”

“Well sir, you must choose one and always and only use that name for mileage credit”.

“So, what changed, it didn’t used to be like this”

“National Security”

“National Security??”

“Yes sir”.

“So, you’re inability to have a simple database that can link Greg Strouse, Worldperks # 000 000 000 to Arthur Strouse Worldperks # 000 000 000 is one of ‘National Security’”??

“Sir, you don’t have to take that tone with me”.

*sigh*

My frustration aside, the business lesson from this is pretty straight-forward: DON’T DO THINGS LIKE THIS!!! It’s sad enough that a bad company in a bad industry with a long reputation for poor customer service continues to treat their customers like “flatties” (a great story I read once I’ll tell you about someday) but it shouldn't encourage others to follow their lead.

Post Script: I finished this on an airplane ride on Delta. Of course, being Delta I had to go through Atlanta, even though I was only going from Detroit to Chicago…..ok, I made that up but they’re almost that bad. I was excited to post so I went to the Delta Club and when I tried to log on to their WiFi I got a “must subscribe” message. Subscribe for WiFi in a lounge you have to pay to get into in the first place???? So I went to the desk and asked for a password. He said, “Sorry sir, you have to pay for a password, but” he said with delight “tomorrow it becomes free”. All the while he was holding a hand full of cards that would become worthless the next day. You can add the seven expletives that was injected into the “that doesn’t help me a lot today, does it?”

Airlines, I’m convinced, exist in spite of themselves.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There is so much that one could say, I think you summed it up nicely. They epitomize the worst of business. Your example was a great lesson in a) how to NOT know your customer (or even how not to treat ones you don't know) and b) how NOT to train your employees. If he thinks just a tiny bit outside the box and acknowledges your loyalty and lets you in - nobody loses. Instead... well, business as usual at the airlines.